Have you ever felt invisible? Your voice cloaked behind a veiled silence? Do you carry the burdened weight of your story beneath a blanket of shame?
The isolation of prisoned silence is not a burden you were meant to bare.
We can discover the key that unlocks the silence,
Breaks our story free and lifts our voice to touch another.
The last few weeks have brought unexpected changes, new windows of opportunity, along with some challenges. At last I was able to retire from my job, and focus time and attention on my ministry, Hope’s Tapestry. Gods most perfect timing never ceases to amaze and delight me. The very day I handed in my resignation letter, I heard from Jo Ann about the books release date and the launch team. Truly a God thing!
When we step out in faith in new directions, unexpected obstacles can come along to cause distraction.
Last week I was confronted with one of those moments…
One of my roles is to advocate for the other 100 survivors from the Institution where I my abuse took place. There are several Facebook groups where interested parties gather to connect and post updates. Last week a member of one of those groups published a glowing endorsement about the founder of the Institution.
Keys that Silence
I was instantly taken back to a moment when the key of silence was placed in my tiny hand. The post stirred painful memories, and a deep sadness about the institution. My memories had been coloured so differently than this post painted. It was washed with lavish praise, yet laced with sarcasm, and shadowy tones that cast doubt. Doubt that a man so admired and idolized, could also have caused pain.
The words echoed the sounds and voices a little girl heard.
Voices that said…
no one will hear you,
no one will listen,
no one will believe you!
Their’s were the voices of authority, power and control.
I was born into this repressive culture, the third child of a staff family, with no world context outside its cloistered walls. Staff kids heard everything that went on behind the scenes. All the heated battles behind closed board room doors, staff meeting disclosures and prayer meeting exposures!
Oh, how I remember the sound of those voices…
My Dad was an energetic, young scraper, and fought for change at the institution. There were a lot of people on staff who didn’t like his approach, and weren’t interested in seeing things change.
Sometimes the easiest way to get even
is through the most vulnerable….
By the time I turned six I wasn’t doing very well physically or emotionally. My parents went against school policy, and took me off campus to a psychiatrist in Calgary. What normal, healthy child needs the services of a psychiatrist?
When they returned my Dad confessed all to the school president and the board. It was determined that his error in judgement would be covered, and another explanation would be given for my ‘illness.’ Psychiatry was of the world, and issues like this were always of a spiritual nature.
I recalled the day they all came to the house.
This space so cold,
bone chill bare.
I lay coiled in fetal curl,
under this blinding glare.
swaying too and fro
imprisoned in pain,
fear spills everywhere.
faces & spaces
spinning all around.
this blur of shapes
and roaring sound.
I close my eyes,
and squeeze them tight,
just to rid this room of light.
I wasn’t rescued by parents, teachers or staff.
There was no where to go and no one to turn too!
There was no open window for this little sparrow to fly through.
A few years ago missing pieces from my life’s story began falling into place. I found the answers to my questions, and unwrapped the key to freedom. A purpose and beautiful meaning can be born out through our broken stories. They are meant to be shared, so they can speak into another’s pain.
Key of Discovery
In her new book, ‘When A Woman Finds Her Voice,’ Jo Ann Fore takes women on a journey of discovery. She shares her story and the journey of others who have found their voice. Woven beautifully throughout, she shares insightful tools to help women discover the power of their own story and voice.
Won’t you consider joining us and discover the freedom that’s found…
When A Woman Finds Her Voice.